The day I almost gave up

Ah, the infamous day 4 passed this weekend! Some say that once day 4 has passed there’s a higher chance that you will actually stick with your running. No kidding!

Here I was thinking that I could manage the first 2 weeks without any trouble. Boy was I wrong. On the fourth day I drove out to the beach to go for a run and to get some much needed fresh air. Don’t get me wrong, it all seemed promising with the sun shining…

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…that was until I took my first step onto the beach. Looks can be deceiving! I might even take back my Swedish saying that “there’s nothing called bad weather, only bad clothing”. It was freeeeezing! Okay, so perhaps I could have worn a better hat or had a cool “ninja runner” scarf (which I don’t have). At the beginning I was all like “oh this is nothing”, but once I had finished half of my run it felt like I was hit by thousands of needles. Breathing was tough and I struggled! This was the day I almost gave up.

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As I was at my last 90 seconds of running my brain only made things worse. I was being fed with negative thoughts. “Oh you can’t do this.” “Who were you kidding?!” “Give up!” “Hahaha! See! You always hated running and you always will!!”. For a split second I actually stopped. Why yes, I confess! I am human after all. But then I said to myself: “Why give up now when you’ve only just begun?” It’s time to forget the meaning of can’t. So I pushed myself to start running again and I finished those remaining seconds…barely breathing.

Being almost traumatized by this Sunday’s ordeal, it was with a bitter-sweet feeling I went for a run today. It was a sunny and windless day. I was bursting with energy and decided I would use it for a good cause. I plugged in my earphones, turned on some upbeat music and put one foot before the other. What a contrast to my last run! I felt so light and content with myself that I didn’t give up. To keep my motivation up I constantly set up small goals. I lock onto a target, such as a lamppost and decide I will keep it up until I reach it. Once I reach that lamppost I decide to focus on a rock or a tree further away. Pretend that you are one step closer to the finish line or that you are running for a special person close to your heart (I think of my mother). It helps me going forward.

Now I can proudly say that I’ve made it past day 4, even day 5.

Onward and upward!

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