Feeling rather pathetic

I do have to apologize for my absence and lack of update. During the past few days I haven’t been feeling very well as I’ve had everything from a headache and stomach ache to being stressed out and getting a strange break out all over my face. All of this is now thankfully gone and I can resume my running (although I’m pretty sure my legs will hate me), handstand challenge and blogging.

I don’t know why I’m criticizing myself for not running for a few days. It’s not like I’ve given up! But somehow I feel really bad for not stepping outside the door and going for a run. A part of me is afraid that I’ll slip into that state of being so lazy (unmotivated) that I’ll just keep telling myself that I’ll do it tomorrow and end up not doing it altogether. I don’t want to start all over again. There’s nothing worse than putting things off.

It’s rather strange that I should feel like this when I know that I haven’t given up. Surely, it is OK to feel under the weather for a few days. After all, sooner or later my body will need a proper rest. My muscles were in need of a rest. I couldn’t move them anyway. The last few days they’ve been rather stiff and things didn’t improve when I got that headache. I’m just going to put this all behind me, embrace that I needed a rest and rise like a phoenix (pardon for that metaphor).

How do you even manage to do that?!

Actually now that we’ve brought up negative thoughts (might as well get it all out) – how on earth do you people out there manage to do a handstand?! For the past week I’ve tried to do a regular plank without touching the wall. At this point the aim is to hold a plank for 1 min. How naive I was when I thought to myself: “Oh surely that will be a piece of cake!” HAH! I felt rather pathetic when I started to tremble and could barely hold my body off the floor for 10-20 seconds. I felt like a walrus on land (not a pretty sight). Am I really this weak? I know that doing a handstand isn’t all about strenght, but I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever manage to do it. I’ve never really used my arms and inner core this way before. I think my body is at loss and have no clue to what is going on. Doubt is a dangerous thing! It certainly won’t help me. Just like with my running, I need something to motivate me. For me to make progress, I need to see progress. So I’m going to set a timer, do my very best, write down the amount of time I managed to hold a plank, and then increase the time by each day. Step by step and I’ll be there. Once I manage to do it for 60 seconds I can continue to the next level.

Tomorrow I’ll resume my running. I’m not really sure how my body will react.  I’ll probably struggle after a few minutes, but that’s only natural. I’m hopeful that after 2 to 3 runs I’ll be back on track again. I need to stop blaming myself and take charge of things.  We all have those days when we are feeling uninspired and unmotivated. Tomorrow will be a new day and bring new possibilities!

Ever since I was little, my mum has always been there for me. Whenever someone or something got me down, she would always say this to me: “Never ever give up!” That’s something I will always hold close to my heart and have with me wherever I go. Things won’t always be easy, but I will never give up!